Motivation

Motivation


Motivation is a really difficult thing.  I am guessing it is even more difficult as an Aspie.  My son used to seem more motivated to do things but now he seems less motivated.  Is that because the world was not always kind to him?  Is it teenagitis?   I know what motivation I had as a teenager… absolutely none.  Sure I was motivated to do what I wanted to do but nothing that anyone else thought I should be doing.  Was I smart enough to get straight As in high school?  I would suppose yes since I frequently got straight As in college with minimal effort.  My senior year in college zero effort so all Bs.  Yes I am one of those people.  So is my son.  It drives me crazy as a parent.  I want him to be motivated and put in time and effort and do wonderful things.  But you can’t infuse that into someone.

I was a bit nervous, okay extremely anxious, about finals and finishing the semester.  He was going to have to be motivated.  How could I ensure this would occur.  I can’t.  He was hanging out with us a lot around the holiday and in general was more cooperative but lots of motivation for school.  Meh.

Last week Sheldon yells for me that his computer is blocked and he needs to pay money.  Before I even walk in I am pretty sure it is a virus.  He is just beside himself, pacing.

malware

This is on his screen.  I tell him it is a virus.

“HOW DO YOU KNOW IT ISN’T REAL IT SAYS DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE”

I wonder how long he spent reading this before he came and got me.  I have talked before about him being a math whiz but not sure how much I have mentioned his   interests in history and government.  He knows a lot.  I once told him something that confused me about the branches of government (Remember I went to law school & passed the bar the first time) and he gave me an entire lecture and ended with “how could you not know that, it just makes sense”.  Yes I’m an idiot, thank you Sheldon.  I mentioned up top how I always did well in school and yet he often makes me feel like Penny.  Sigh.  Anyways I can understand his angst.  He follows rules.  You do not break rules, ever, under any circumstances.  And now his computer screen says the Department of Justice has blocked his computer.  I tried explaining how it looks fake and how they are asking for money is a clue it is a scam.  I (luckily/unluckily?) have actually had my hard drive subpoenaed by the lovely DOJ so I explained to him exactly how that happens.  (it wasn’t for personal reasons the whole dept at my job at the time was seized, nothing found on my hard drive so stop judging :-)) This real life knowledge and ability to explain calmed him down a bit.

Since this has occurred he has been even more cooperative.  Right after this happened I mentioned his paper he had to write for school.  It was a writing prompt like they do for OGTs which scare the crap out of me.  I may find a state to move to that don’t require graduation tests- they are absurd.  Anyways, he hates writing.  There is always drama and angst.  Not that night, he grabbed the paper out of my hand so he could read the prompt himself.  He worked with me until it was done.  We didn’t get much of a conclusion written because he then started thinking about his computer and the virus.  BUT WOW what we got done without arguing… wow. just wow.  And the school work motivation/lack of arguing has continued!

And this was not the only amazing thing that has occurred over the past week.  He has sleep issues – well documented on this blog but once he is asleep he will not wake up.  And when we do wake him up he becomes very upset.  That is the only remaining time we get cussed out.  The other day he was napping during the day, which upset me because that would screw up his sleep schedule.  But I know there is no arguing.  It is a rather lengthy story but basically I had to get the HDMI cable off of his TV to take it where his computer was so they had right cable.  It didn’t work and was all for nothing but anyways… I was home alone and he is napping.  I thought about calling a friend but then I decided I was going to do it.  I have been feeling better and I knew the TV was light.  I got the TV off the crazy rigged wall mount, unhooked the cable and went to put it back.  My energy was completely gone.  I could not pick it back up.  There was no hope for me getting it back on.  And there was no where I could really put it.  Insert swear words here.

I cursed myself and yelled for my son.  He actually answered “what”, he sounded snarly.  I said that I really needed him.  This statement has worked over the last few months since my illness but I don’t just use it just because.  Only when I really do need him.  He asked why and I told him I was holding his TV and couldn’t get it back on.  He came in and helped.  No yelling, no cursing.  There was grumbling yes but well who wouldn’t be grumbling.

And the grand finale.  So my husband worked yesterday so he didn’t believe me when I told him.  He was walking around the house in underwear.  Not a blanket.  Sometimes he had his blanket but he was wearing underwear.  It never matters the weather or anything else we tell him.  Always the toga.  I couldn’t blame my husband for not believing me.  Then tonight Sheldon came down to the family room to hang out with us.  Again don’t know why but he is hanging out with us a lot lately.  We watched some pawn stars.  Always pawn stars or mythbusters.  They are quite informative and entertaining.  Anyways he announced he was going back upstairs.  He got up with his blanket.  He always needs to adjust the toga when he stands up so he always announces “don’t look”.  He didn’t this time but I averted my eyes anyways because well, I am not a fan of the full moon or anything else.  I looked over when knew it would be safe.  He was carrying the blanket and wearing underwear again for no reason without being asked (i mean specifically this year except for when going out).  My husband looked at me with his mouth open.  After my son left the room I said “see I wasn’t lying!!”
The other day when I was telling Super B some of these wonderful events since the malware she suggested we get a cop to stop by when it starts to wear off.  That is really mean but man I may want to do that…

Schoolwork without arguing (multiple times!)

not cussing me out when I wake him up (multiple times!)

Wearing underwear for no reason (multiple times!)

Is his teenagitis starting to get better???  Maybe I have found the cure!

Comments

  1. The cure for teenagitis? I think it is “growing older and no longer being a teenager” (sorry, tongue-in-cheek) but I’m so glad that things are going well right now!

  2. Change always takes time but this sounds like good change! :) I remember my moms frustration when I would constantly run out the front door holding my socks and shoes running through the snow to my bus. My bus driver would laugh and ask if I could feel my feet and I didn’t get it really. Getting to the bus was more important. Plus, I hate socks (Except extremely expensive hiking socks I’ve discovered haha) Hang in there. :)

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