Today I was so special I got two calls from the school. The first call was to tell me that he was still refusing to do the @#$!* writing assignment. On the bright side of this he did not have a meltdown. He also stayed in school all day. These are both very big accomplishments for him!
The case manager was telling me that they really tried to make accommodations but no matter what they did he refused. I explained that once he shuts down he doesn’t hear the accommodations. Later when he calms down he will say, “no one told me I could do that”. And I know it is hard to work with him when he gets like that.
We discussed that he could get better accommodations if he was in the ED class for language arts. I really have fought the ED class room placement but I know my son really likes the teacher and maybe they could work with him to get him past some of his issues with writing. I told him I would think about.
The second phone call was to tell me that he came to the case manager and wanted to go home. The case manager said he ate lunch with my son and discussed the issues with him. The fact that my son discussed any issues with him was also a huge accomplishment for him. He told the case manager that he is really struggling with his classes and dealing with the other kids. This is something my son complains about a lot since he has so many issues with social anxiety.
While discussing these issues the two of them decided that he would like to go in to the ED unit for all of his classes. WHAT!! It was all I could do to not cry right then on the phone. He explained that my son said he could handle gym and band but was really struggling in the mainstream classes and felt that he would do better in the smaller class. While I was glad that my son articulated these issues and was advocating for himself I was also very sad that he wanted this. I hung up the phone and cried through my lunch.
We happened to have a psychologist appointment scheduled for this evening and I thought we could discuss it there. As soon as we got in the car I told him we had stuff to talk about. He looked at me and asked me if he could have his classes with Mr. L (his case manager). He has never asked for such a thing. Of course I had to tell him yes, if that is what he wants.
We had a pretty good evening at the psychologists. He did shut down at the psychologists when we tried discussing the writing assignment. She handled it by asking him if she could talk to me with him outside of the room. She explained she doesn’t want to set up a pattern of him shutting down in therapy but by only letting him be in the room when he is participating. Interesting. We discussed how he got in the pattern of shutting down at the other psychologists.
He ended up knocking on the door after about 15 minutes and then came in and participated in the discussion. Love the new psychologist! We talked about him possibly staying in his regular Geometry class since he likes the teacher and needs to stay challenged in that class. He decided that sounded good. So that means 3 classes in ED unit and 3 classes out (gym, band, and Geometry). I am still in shock by all of this.
I find it so hard to know what the right thing is to do. But I do know that he has struggled a lot in the past and maybe this is what he needs right now. I am really trying to look at the bright side!!