He went to a Party!

Last night I was struggling to get my son to do his writing assignment for band.  Yes you read that correctly, a writing assignment in band.  And to make matters worse the assignment was to create questions about culture and music and then interview at least one adult and one student.  Then write about your own feelings about culture and music.  I am sure they thought it was a fluff assignment but for my son this assignment is pure torture.  I was going to contact the band teacher to modify the assignment but instead I contacted the case manager and told him we would just see how far he got.

The assignment was given last Tuesday and every day my son “forgot” to work on the questions in study hall.  The case manager is usually pretty good about getting him to complete work so I am not sure why this wasn’t done.  But I have to admit I really didn’t care- it is BAND!!  However I wanted him to do it because thinking of questions and interviewing someone is a good skill to have.  Over the weekend we wrote out the questions and he was to ask the case manager questions and maybe a student.  He forgot of course and you can read yesterdays post about that answer.

I said fine we will at least write the intro paragraph and the paragraph on your feelings.  He starts to moan and groan because he hates writing and writing about feelings is even more difficult.  Right when we were about to start he says

“Mom, there is a midnight release party for Battlefield 3.”  Looks at me with sad puppy eyes.

“I am sorry son, you have missed too many days so far”

“Please mom, J is going”  Now I notice he is calling J on his cell before I can say anything J answers.

“J, my mom is thinking of letting me go!”

J on speaker phone “PLEASE let him go and pick me up on your way, PLEASE!”

AURGH ambushed by teenagers about going to a party!!  I start thinking about how this is the first thing that my son has wanted to do outside of his room in months.  We have even offered to take J and him to Dave and Busters (older kid version of Chucke Cheese) and he has said no.  Sigh I actually think this is great that he wants to go somewhere, with a friend, where there will be lots of people.

Light bulb “I will think about it but you have to write these two paragraphs”  They both start squealling like little girls.

I finally get him to hang up to work on the paper and he starts whining “I can’t do it”.  I remind him that if he wants to go he has to write the paper.  He actually wrote the two paragraphs!  They weren’t the best two paragraphs but they are words on the page which is more than I thought he would do!  We discuss that the only way he can go is if he goes to school the next day and he has to do the interview.  We agree he can go in late because I would rather him get sleep than be on time.  He promises and then run downstairs to put his shoes on even though he isn’t leaving for two hours.

I enlisted my husband to take them because I don’t really want to stand outside in the cold with a bunch of teenagers and young adults waiting for midnight to buy a game.  My husband said that there were tons of teenagers that all looked like my son- pasty white from never going outside and greasy shaggy hair.  Sorry I forgot to assign him to take pictures but just imagine a bunch of teenagers in military fatigues lined up outside a store waiting in the cold. Everyone kind of bonds over the fact that you are standing outside in the cold together and people do socialize.  To me it is not that exciting but I am not a guy.

I heard my son loved it.  The two had a great time hanging out together waiting for the store to open.  They even walked over to Taco Bell for a little bit to get warm.  I think his friend ate but my son just got a drink because tacos are not on his list.

He was very good when he got home and only played until 1 AM.  He woke up around 8 AM without me even having to wake him up!  He played for a little bit and got to school by 9 which was even earlier then we agreed to.  And he did better than some days when he wasn’t out late!

The assignment is due tomorrow but I know I can get an extension if needed.  I will try to get him to finish tonight but I am not sweating it.  I am proud of him for going to school today and he completed the interview.  And we have some words on a page!  I am happy we made progress and he best of all he had a great night with his friend.   And to me that is what matters most 🙂


  1. It’s interesting how differently Asperger’s can manifest. At 7, my daughter loves any kind of party and craves social interaction. I have to worry about what she’ll do and say once out, so I’m more likely to avoid a party than she. Your post makes me really wonder what the teen years will be like.

    • Hi Khareen! Thank you for stopping by again! Every child is different but my son also enjoyed parties etc when he was younger. He stopped wanting to go to parties and I don’t know if it is because he realized he didn’t like them or because he felt he didn’t fit in. He says he doesn’t like them. But that is why when he asked to go to the release party where he knew there would be lots of people I had to let him go! I think each one finds their own way (with our help).

  2. Moments of happiness and fun are rare…glad he enjoyed it. This is great!

  3. That is wonderful!!!! I am sure the “forgetting” is due to being stressed about it. I often have to use these types of motivators- I am worried about the teenage years myself! How cleverly he ambushed you! haha… that is the stuff I am afraid of!

  4. That’s great! I’m glad he did so well, both with the party and writing the paragraphs. And wow, we never had writing assignments in band…just for the final exam we had to take if we didn’t march in the Memorial Day parade.

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