The fog has lifted (I hope)

The fog has lifted (I hope)

I am trying to put it into perspective that every year Thanksgiving gets better since my grandmother died. We have worked really hard to make the Holiday a happy time for my son and for all of us. This year was actually really good and you can read about our Thanksgiving holiday here. He did really good, we let him decide when he needed a break and the whole day went really well. He was clearly overstimulated that night. It was kind of cute because he asked for his cat at bedtime. I knew this was the signal that he was overstimulated.

Unfortunately we did not have a cat with us, although he had suggested we take him with us. I really do need to see about getting that cat officially trained and certified as a service animal!! Anyways we had discussed the night before that he couldn’t take his cat so he had asked to take his putty and his ball of whacks.

When he asked for his cat I handed him his putty and suggested that we all go to bed since it was around 10PM. This seemed reasonable to everyone, except our neighbors at the hotel. My son started complaining about the noise so I gave him his iphone with headphones. He apologized for complaining and went to sleep. I thought he handled all of this brilliantly!

The next day he still seemed a little off but he asked his friend to stay and play games. They played video games and watched Mythbusters and seemed to have a great day. Saturday I was sick and he was exceptionally good. I thought all was right in the universe.

Sunday evening I went and asked him to take his shower and he became very angry with me and just wanted left alone. This was clearly a change so I tried to give him as much space as I could. I tried everything but he was clearly upset about something. He finally agreed to at least take his pills but still refused the shower. He kept saying he didn’t care and hiding under his blanket. He was clearly upset but I didn’t know why and he wasn’t talking.

Monday morning he got up and was his usual tired self but I didn’t get yelled at. He told me he couldn’t cope with school and he needed one more day. I pleaded with him and he told me he couldn’t because of Grandma. I guess I wasn’t expecting it since he did so well the week of Thanksgiving. I told him what a great job he did this year (he has hit other kids and had issues for weeks around Thanksgiving). My son said this has been the worst year. Huh? “because of the room” I told him Grandma would want him to use her room like this. He then asked me what the room was when the previous owners had the house. We then reviewed all of the uses the room has had since then. Although he was sad I was impressed that he was telling me what was wrong.

Monday he was still very sad all day and in to the evening. Monday night he told me he just couldn’t go to school on Tuesday. I offered him pretty much anything he wanted. I told him he could sleep on my floor, I could sleep on his. He wanted left alone but he wanted his cat. I am not sure what we would do without that cat!!

Tuesday morning I tried in vein to get him to go to school but he said he is still upset. My husband had to work but he goes in later in the day. Apparently he couldn’t get him to take his pills because I got a phone call from my son later in the afternoon saying “I forgot to take my pills, I am sorry, it wasn’t dad’s fault.” His voice was different. Has the fog lifted? He then said “My ball exploded, I accidentally dropped it”. I knew he meant his Ball of Whacks.

Each part has a magnet in it. I bought it for him because he has always seemed interested in magnets so what could be better than a colorful ball of magnetized pieces? He loves it and plays with it all the time. He mostly just arranges it by color but he seems to really like it. When he said it exploded I said we could replace it because I thought he meant some of the pieces came open. He said no the pieces just came apart. I clarified he meant like it is supposed to and he said yes.

I came home and got him dinner and made sure he took his pills. He wouldn’t let me eat near him while he ate but I was invited in the room after he ate. I inquired and yes the smell of my food ruins the taste of his food. We discussed school and again discussed how he could get into trouble for missing school. He said he will return tomorrow.

I surveyed the room (yes I know I need to vacuum, never mind that).


Yes, it clearly exploded into many pieces everywhere, this is just some, but none of the parts were broken. I reminded him that if the magnets ever come out he is never to put them in his mouth. He said “Yes, I know, you told me.” I think the fog may really have lifted and I really hope that he returns to school tomorrow. (fingers are crossed, and praying)


  1. I just read your blog.. That is totally awesome he is taking responsibility for his actions at his own pace. My oldest son, was 13 before i started trusting him to do what is right for himself. It allows them their own independence for growing up, so much so that including him in his own IEP meetings at school that inclusion alone turned on a huge light for my son. Now He is motivated and stays engaged at school with not so much intervention on my part just to keep up with what was happening at school and learning. My son zach was diagnosed with severe adhd at age 6, but he too had all the classic symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome but those symptoms have all seem to faded away. He is completely med free today.

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