Back to School but…


So last night he went to his room and watched YouTube starting at 7:30.  He even said goodnight early.  I could hear YouTube until around 9:30-10 so I know he didn’t go to sleep until later.

At some point during the night he woke me up to help him find his cat.  Sure, sure I decided sleep is overated a long time ago.  A co-worker recently told me that her 9 month old is sleeping through the night.  That is so unfair.  His sleep has gotten better with medications and as he has gotten older he doesn’t wake me up as much as he used to but still.  Plus even if he doesn’t intentionally wake me up I still hear him up since I am a mom.  And I can’t go back to sleep until I know he is back in bed trying to sleep.  Sometimes I have to get up to encourage him to go back to sleep as the rule is he is only allowed to stay up after 5AM.

After last nights restlessness I had to add the following:

#youmightbeanautismparentif ur child woke u up in the middle of the night because he couldn’t find his #cat

#youmightbeanautismparentif u wonder how much more u could do for ur child if u actually got sleep on a regular basis

Because seriously, I am emotionally exhausted from trying to get him to go to school.  And then we have to take them to appointments and coordinate care and insurance and it goes on and on some days.  I was just exhausted this morning.

And when I tried to wake him up I got yelled at.  Yep, I get it, you are tired since you didn’t sleep but so am I.  And unfortunately he has missed way too much school and needed to go no matter what.

It took forever and a lot of energy on both our parts to get him ready and out the door.  I finally get him out the door, a few minutes late, but out the door.  He left around 8:25 and is to be there at 8:35.

I text the case manager to let him know he didn’t get much sleep because after being out and not much sleep I would not expect too much from him.

At 8:58 the conversations begin:

From CM:  He having a bad start.  When I talked to him he said I’m lucky he’s here.  He will have to accept some consequences soon if he doesn’t work.

Me:  He didn’t sleep well and was hard getting him there.  U said get him there and if needed to miss a class was ok.

CM:  I know he can miss 3rd but he is in here refusing to do anything.  he doesn’t have to leave unit but some boundaries must be made.

He then said would call me.  The conversation was about how we discussed he needed to go to school but if needs time he would be given time.  He explained to me that he was given about 20 minutes with head down and then tried every 10-15 to get him to do work.  He explained he is okay, not getting sent home but wanted me to know they would continue to work with him.  He explained he needs to do the work eventually and he can’t think refusing will mean he won’t have to do work.

We discussed that he usually does work and I said maybe he just needs time.  The case manager said he would continue to work with him and my son wanted to go to 3rd period (world history inclusion class) but he did let the teacher know my son not in great mood.  The case manager assured me that my son was upset but not upset enough to blow up.   The Case Manager let me told me he would update me around lunch time.

At this time I am just worried sick.

12:32 (finally!) CM:  He’s here but not happy.  Refused to give me a test.  he is just rebelling a bit.  he is doing fine.

Me:  Ok well hope goes ok and he goes back tomorrow.

So now I am freaking out he is going to hate it there and I will never get him back tomorrow.  (Insert swear words of choice here)

12:57 CM:  Starting to work.

Well I guess that is something he started working at 1PM!

I left work early to see what my son had to say.  I asked him how his day went and he said “Moderate”.   I explain he needs to do the work but what is up.

My son said he is still mad at Mrs. T. from the other day, post here.  He also said she over reacted to him having his head down.  Okay well that is fair but why wouldn’t you do the test later in the day for the CM.  He said he was still mad.  So we discussed again about how he still needs to do work and if doesn’t no video games.

Having been down this road before I know he needs to work it out with the teacher that he is mad at.  Last year he was so mad at the one teacher he refused to work for 2 weeks!  At the end of the year the teacher was his favorite.  Later I will try to remind him of this but earlier he would not listen.

I did text the case manager to let him know that he is still mad.  I also asked to clarify when he is allowed to put his head down.   He likes to put it down during the lecture and I think that should be okay especially when doesn’t do it that often.

Okay so other than drinking (strongbow already in hand, so sorry for grammatical errors) any other suggestions?

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Comments

  1. I know I’m in no mood for anything when I’m sleep deprived. I think you are both handling it well. Your instincts are telling you to go slowly and give him time and space. It sounds like that is what he needs. His feelings and the length of time he needs to transition are his right to have. It’s up to the adults to get over their expectations and support.

  2. Sounds like he goes to school with a bunch of idiots – staff included.

    Can he do school by correspondence?

    • I think it may end up okay. I had a really good talk with the therapist or counselor or whatever she is for the unit. Will update when I know more.

      As an aside I think learning to deal with idiots is an important life skill. I am still learning myself.

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