In Memorium

Today it has been 70 years since the attack on Pearl Harbor.  I obviously wasn’t there but it was a terrible attack on our soil and I am sorry for anyone who suffered any losses.  In particular I must pay respects to my Hawaiian friends that stop by my blog frequently.  E kala mai

But today is also the anniversary for a personal loss.  Fifteen years ago today a very close friend (boyfriend for a time) of mine passed away.  I still have the obit but the exact details in the obit don’t matter very much.  I remember that he, M, was far too young to die, he was only 19 or 20.  I hadn’t spoken to him in a few months at the time of his death.  We had been good friends for year but then tried dating.   That doesn’t always go so well and I broke up with him.  M had asked me to go back with him but I declined because I was dating someone else.  We were giving each other a bit of space I guess.  That last conversation has played over in my head about a thousand times in the last 15 years.

I found out he died the day of his death from mutual friends.  Our one mutual friend was freaking out because he was supposed to have been with M at the time of his death.  M had tickets to a concert and had asked our friend to go.  At the last minute our friend couldn’t go and nobody else could go either.  M was driving by himself at night, drinking, and maybe some other things.  His car met a telephone pole and caught fire.  I don’t think I want to think about his end.  Fuck that really hurts to think about.

Miss you my friend and so, so sorry.

I hope you saw the tribute your sister made on her facebook wall.  If you did I am sure you laugh at us being friends.  I remember that day at your house just like it was yesterday.  You slammed the door in her face so we could be alone.  How is she my friend now?  She even thanked me for my kind words on her tribute.

We were horrible teenagers, weren’t we?  Good times, never forgotten, rest in peace.  Wish your life hadn’t ended so soon.

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