The Matrix has us

The Matrix has us

The Matrix came out in 1999 and it spoke to me in so many ways.  I have read lots of things about how there were religious themes and I suppose that was true but that isn’t what spoke to me.

I remember watching the movie and in the beginning you don’t know what is going on.  You are introduced to Neo and how he is trying to get by in this world but he struggles.  He stays up night with his computers and in the morning is late for work.

His boss, not very happy says:

You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson. You believe you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously, you are mistaken.

I remember sitting there a bit stunned, confused?  not sure correct emotion.  I remember I understood how Neo felt.  He didn’t belong there, in that job, in that office but that is what he had to do in order to get by in the world.

And then you learn that that wasn’t really the world.  It is the Matrix.  I know I can’t assume you have seen the movie (go see it!!) so here is basic synopsis:  Something about machines taking over the world and created The Matrix.  The Matrix is a computer generated world where the humans go while hooked up to the machine as batteries.  Neo is in the Matrix (the world, with the boss above) and Morpheus leads the rebellion.  Morpheus wants Neo out of the Matrix to join the rebellion.  Anyways there are two worlds basically, the real world and The Matrix.

When Morpheus is going to take Neo out of the Matrix he tells Neo:

This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

Neo chooses the red pill and joins Morpheus.  Long story short, well, I won’t ruin the story, go see the movie. (Plus it is not a perfect analogy but that could be a whole other blog post)

When I left the movie I remember looking around at everything and wondering.  What if there is another world.  I do feel like Neo felt in the office. That is how I feel every day at work.  I don’t feel that I belong there.  I think the rules are stupid and I would give anything to just be free.  But I can’t, there are bills to pay and all this other stuff.  But I just feel like I am a hamster on a wheel.

I used to switch careers and jobs frequently looking for something.  Finally I realized that I wasn’t going to find what I was looking for in any job.  It is just this world, this planet, or whatever you want to refer to it.  I understand why it is called  I feel like the Matrix has me.

I never told anyone that before.  I was always afraid of someone thinking I have a psychological issues.  Oh wait the DSM says that I do.  The APA can go (blank) themselves.  I function just fine, or at least pretend to function the way society wants me to.  I am constantly told that I am the most efficient person in the department.  I am constantly told all kinds of great things.  It makes me feel uncomfortable and not sure how much to believe really but I guess my point is I am pretty sure that I AM NOT CRAZY APA!!  My brain is wired differently and there is nothing wrong with that.

I have lots of great qualities and so does my son.  I think the world would be a much better place if we lost The Matrix persona and we were all just real with each other.  Like my son I would like to take the red pill.  I would like to be in the world where I belong and they accept my son and me.   We don’t need a cure, we don’t need psycho-analysis.  We need help with how to cope with a world that doesn’t always make sense.  I want to be Neo and somehow manipulate the Matrix to be what I need for us.

Neo:  I know you’re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you’re afraid… you’re afraid of us. You’re afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn’t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I’m going to hang up this phone, and then I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

And damn it I might just change my alias to Neo since a) I couldn’t think of one and went with MOS for mom of sheldon b) it would be super cool but then again I am obsessed with Neo so maybe I just think it is cool.

Please let me know what you think!


  1. I had to write an essay comparing The Matrix and the Allegory of the Cave (Plato) in my freshman year of HS. It’s quite a film. And if you change your alias, it will be awesome and confusing.

    • E- thanks for stopping by, I bet that was a great essay! I hate change and I certainly don’t want to confuse anyone. I get confused when people change names or profile pics (although I LOVE yours!!). But sometimes I need a first name. So it would be like you. You are The Third Glance on a lot of things but you use E as your name. So I would be aspieside still on twitter but neo would be my name. On facebook in particular it requires a first name. I used Mos (mom of sheldon) but I don’t like it and I just started using it a couple of weeks ago so figured could change it now without too much issue. So Aspieside not going away 🙂

  2. “I used to switch careers and jobs frequently looking for something. Finally I realized that I wasn’t going to find what I was looking for in any job. ”

    Oh yes to this!!!

    Finding out that I am autistic was the best, I at last could understand all of the little stange bits of my life in one big picture.

    I think of the “red pill”. My friend with schizophrenia takes handfuls of them, and I take one myself. Without them, she could not function. Without my one red pill a day, I am lost in OCD and anxiety.

    Although that pill helps me cope, it cannot change how I am different. It just keeps me from getting less stuck.

    I hope to one day see people accepted for their unique mental chemistry and pathways instead of being dismissed as being flawed.

    Thank you for writing to this point!

    And I like “Neo” very much. 🙂

  3. So now every time I see “Neo” in front of your profile, I think “new” – because that’s what neo means. I know it’s not the reason, but I thought I’d share the random association. I assume I will stop thinking that eventually. 🙂

  4. I like this movie and i love Keanu Reeves!!
    Why not changes to Neo, he’s cute anyway…

  5. You really just opened my eyes: my J gets absolutely CONSUMED by the whole Matrix trilogy … and now I think I know why!!

  6. I love this post! I have so much I want to say, but I cannot get my words to come out right. Soooo I will just say Yes! and I love this post! and The Matrix Rocks!

    • Totally keep coming back to the Matrix (first film), the Jedi Knights (true Jedis like Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Luke were the full on Aspies), Princess Leis (Ewok plushes!), and Alice in Wonderland. Also, the Emperor’s New Clothes (Child is Aspie masking as NT, Emperor is Aspie getting his full Aspie freak on and making the NTs take it)


  1. […] And then my favorite, since Keanu understands that the Matrix has Us. […]

  2. […] I need to clarify that I have not been officially diagnosed. You can read more about that here and here if you wish. I do believe that I am an Aspie and I have done my best to blend in. It is not that i […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: