Happy Easter?!?!

My son has been watching waaaayyyy too much you tube lately.  I don’t even know what all he is watching but it has become too much.  He hasn’t been wanting to do school work and I became aggravated by that.

I was also aggravated by his sleep schedule and that I was waking up at 2 AM or 4 AM and trying to get him to sleep.  So Saturday morning I decided to take his laptop away.  At 4AM he didn’t seem to care too much.  I tried to wake him up Saturday at 2 PM.  He seemed okay with this until he asked for his laptop.  He decided to go back to sleep when I told him I took it away.

The rest of the day he was just plain angry with me.  I got screamed at a few times.  This hurt me deeply because my son and I have a really good bond.  We have always been the closest and understood each other when others didn’t get us.  I finally gave him his laptop and said it wasn’t worth arguing about.

On Saturday I had also went and bought the last book in the Warriors series that had just come out.  He hasn’t been asking for books as much lately since he is not in brick and mortar school.  He used to read during class to escape.  I got many phone calls and emails about him reading at “inappropriate times”.  He loves to read.  He will devour books and when it is a book he enjoys he can tell me every single thing that happened.

The Warriors series is written for younger kids but he started it when he was younger and once started, it must be finished!  Honestly I love the books as well.  They were the first books he truly enjoyed and turned him into a reader.  I am so grateful for that because that escape will serve him well.  He loved the Warrior books so much he talked me and my mom both into reading them.  The only book I have left to read is the last book and I will have to make time for it.

Anyways all day Saturday he was just aggravated with me.  He wouldn’t even eat which means he is really angry.  It gave me a lot of time to think about things.

1) I was a horrible teenager.  He makes me look like an angel.  I hated school work and often refused to do it.  It drove my mother crazy but she just left me alone.  I didn’t have a diagnosis so I was just an underachieving, rebellious teenager.  I hated school and I hated all of the bullshit. I hated all of the people so I just did other things to escape and also try to fit in with someone.   I think my mom just gave up on me.

2) I keep going back to this online school isn’t the best fit either.  Some of the classes are just review for him and then he gets aggravated because he already knows the stuff.  It doesn’t make him all gung ho to take the test and ace it.  It just aggravates him.  And then on the flip side he is avoiding certain classes because they are not discussing what he wants to do.  The World History class is more about more recent history and he does not find this interesting.  He would watch and read 1000 things on WWI and other history events but he does not want to learn about what they happen to be teaching.  He is also avoiding language arts.  He hates the short stories and poetry they are reading.  But he loves to read.

I keep having thoughts about what is the point – is it just to make him jump through hoops?  That is the analogy the brick and mortar school used.  Training them to jump?  Like dolphins, the most beautiful intelligent creatures and we teach them to jump through a stupid hoop.  Rather insulting isn’t it?  And my son has told me before that “this dolphin isn’t jumping”.

I get how he feels.  I hate being micromanaged. And as a teenager I felt even more like yelling “leave me alone!”  If a boss micromanages me I am out of there so fast.  There are certain things that I am learning just happens in the work place. Is that the point of school?  To teach us that life sucks and sometimes people that are dumber than you will get to tell you what to do and you have to pretend to like it?  (Not saying all teachers are dumb but these are my thoughts as I felt in school and now working).

It is really a struggle for me because I know he is a good kid and I know he likes to learn stuff.  He will love going to Washington DC in the fall.  He loves to learn about so many things and it is just figuring out how to get the info to him in a way that he enjoys.  Still working on it.

And although he doesn’t like to read for school he finished his book already.  He came into my room and handed me the book.  He told me all about how it for sure really is the end of the series but was careful not to spoil it (he has in the past so he has learned!).  He told me all about a new series coming out about dogs.  He was very excited and animated and said it was a good book but it could have had a better ending.  I told him that was awesome.  I then looked at the clock 3:23 AM.


Now I am tired and my husband is aggravated not doing anything with his family.  I don’t have the energy for this.  Cook the ham and let it go.  But the good news is my son is being nice and cooperative today.  I hope that it turns out to be a good day!!


  1. Hugs!!! I have been where you are. I came to the decision that M will find her own way to complete her education & she is smart enough and in many ways mature enough to do so. I think she could probably past the GED without a problem and the local community college is just up the street. She can still go away after completing 30 hrs there if that is her choice. She is currently doing a self paced homeschool program & is hopeful she will be able to complete it early although some days are better than others.

    Best wishes to you and your son as you figure out what is best for him.

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