Merry Christmas?


I don’t want to be all bah humbug because really it has been a great Christmas.  Was a really stressful year and I got into the Christmas spirit early.  We put up two trees and we really wanted to celebrate the wonderful holiday and enjoy the family time.

The festivities started on Sunday with a birthday party for a relative.  All of the family got together from across the country.  When I RSVPd I had said my son may or may not go.  This is the side of the family that always does really well with him and is very understanding.  He is very relaxed around them and they have great fun together.  Especially in the summer playing corn hole.  We have great memories.  But my son didn’t want to go Sunday.  He wanted to stay home and play with his friends.  I let him.  My husband was all upset because he wanted to hang out with our son.  I kept saying leave him alone.  He wouldn’t have liked this party anyways.  It was loud and lots of people he didn’t know.  He wouldn’t have liked any of the food.  The stress would not have been worth it.  My husband was bummed he didn’t get to spend the day with Sheldon.  But my husband moved on from it and had a good time at the party.  I told him he would have time to spend with Sheldon.  I had no clue.

My inlaws, well I am not sure what to say.  But in general there are issues of stress.  The last time we saw them it did not go well at all.  I never spoke to my sister in law about it but I know my husband told them.  In my dilaudid & phenergan & out of whack state in the hospital I remember my husband screaming at them.  Something about they would not come help my husband.  One of them wanted my son to go out and stay with them.  My husband was screaming at them about how he was not going to be taken out of his comfort zone.  About how he was stressed enough and needed to stay home.  About how he had no interest in going to their house because of how he was treated last time.  I had no interest in seeing any of them again.  We tried on my son’s birthday and oy vey my mother in law is a piece of work.

I had no intentions of seeing them for Christmas.  None.  Not worth the stress.  My husband kept stressing over it.  Thinking it over.  He was torn.  So he ended up calling his sister.  They apparently agreed that the majority of their issues were from their mother.  I could agree with that.  I tried to tell my sister in law that years ago.  So my husband invited them over.  He decided that if they came the day after Christmas it would be less stressful.  Whatever.

We couldn’t be more wrong.

My son is a teenager.  He spends most of his day on the computer and playing video games.  He never wants to hang out with us.  He maybe watches TV with us an hour a day.  Usually once a week on a day my husband is off work they go out to lunch and stop at various places.  It is usually his big day out.  That day we don’t see him much the rest of the day.  It is few hours with us a day tops.  The last time I remember spending any long period of time with him was a year and a half ago when he had surgery.  He stayed with me for a week.  Oh wait, the angel did the same for me when I had elective surgery last year, that was about 2-3 days.  When I was in the hospital this time he probably spent a bit more time with us.  But in general it is short lengths of time.

He has now been with us, glued to us, for 24 hours.  The only reason I can type this right now is because he is with his dad.  Laying in my sensory bean bag– if you don’t have one you should really get one.  They are very comfortable.  I bought one because I could never get comfortable on the couch.  I may be buying a new one.  I think yesterday was the first day my son tried it.  I haven’t been able to use it since!

He is watching TV in it and playing his DS since I bought him the new Pokemon game he wanted.  He isn’t exactly melting down but I can tell he is agitated.  He has made a couple of comments about his cousins.  I keep re-assuring him that he can go to his room to get away from them.  We live in a split level.  The top level is our bedrooms- company does not go up there.  It is our space.  Our sanctuary.   My son’s space.  Or if he wants to stay in the family room where the sensory chair is he can stay there and the cousins will just have to stay on the main floor.  I really don’t care.  I don’t care if my mother in law gets offended that he isn’t around.  I don’t care if she gets snotty about how she wants to see him or that the girls should be allowed wherever they want to go.  The manipulations will not occur.  My husband started with me about how the girls may want to go upstairs.  I said the only way they were going upstairs is if my son invites them.  Not going to happen so they are not going up there.  I really don’t care what they think.  I care about my son.  He is clearly stressed by the thought of them coming over.  Which is making me stressed.  I am going to try to behave myself tomorrow.  But it is my house and I will stand my ground.

Other than this whole stressful nonsense that occurs tomorrow it has been a great Christmas.  My son got everything he asked for and more.  Same for me and my husband.  And we are definitely getting family time together.  Even if my son is clearly agitated and glued to us.  I am doing whatever he asks whenever he asks.  It is that kind of day and I expect tomorrow to be the same way.  I can’t watch anymore Pawn Stars but luckily my husband likes the history channel as much as my son.  We did get to watch an awesome episode of Too Cute!  The kittens made my son very happy 🙂  I am hoping that tomorrow goes well.  However based on the phone call discussions I have heard already it is already tense and manipulative.  Why did we invite them over? Oh wait now my husband is walking around having guilt because of the conversations. grrrr I have tried to explain boundaries and guilt vs. false guilt.  sigh.

To end this on a happy note here is our cat having a great time:

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  1. […] I decided it was my space and I was buying what I was comfortable sitting in.  As I wrote about here my son has discovered it and won’t vacate.  When we aren’t in it a cat is in it.  […]

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