Okay relatives weren’t that bad….


It’s over & it wasn’t too bad!!

Yesterday my husband convinced Sheldon to out to breakfast with us.  There is only one place my son likes to go for breakfast so that is where we went.  Well he doesn’t even eat breakfast but they will serve him chicken strips and french fries at 9 am so it is all good for him.  We hadn’t been there in a long time because we haven’t been able to get him out for “breakfast” for probably a year or so.  Even though I am no longer on a strict diet I still eat what I call faux eggs although egg beaters aren’t really faux eggs but they come in a box and not an egg so I still call them that.  I actually like them better than the real eggs.  The place we went for breakfast had their own version.  I thought they were probably similar.  They were awful.  The texture was all wrong.  I sat for a moment and wondered what I should do.  I then heard my son’s former psychologist’s voice in my head – she once told me the best thing I could do for my son is verbalize my own issues and discuss with him how I logically work through them.  We had discussed how I had a lot of the same issues but work through them in my head.  I had opined he was not as odd as people thought, he just openly said what others were thinking.  Um, no, apparently not everyone thinks that way.  Well how did I know?

So anyways back to the eggs.  I had ordered an omelet so it was most of my meal.  Did I comment and power through eating them anyways.  No, I really couldn’t they were awful.  So I decided to comment about how the texture was awful and I couldn’t eat them.  My husband inquired what was so wrong with them.  Yeah he doesn’t get the food issues at all.  My son didn’t comment and slid over his extra biscuit he wasn’t going to eat.  I smiled, he understood and offered me food that I could eat.  Yep that was a good psychologist.  We aren’t odd and I need to vocalize my thoughts more for his benefit.  I try to do but it is hard.  I am glad I did yesterday.

So then for lunch my in laws came over.  My son was dreading it but it all ended up being okay.  For starters one of the cousins was sick.  They go to a doctor near our house so part of the family was dropped off while part went to the doctors.  This was kind of perfect because it eased my son into the whole thing.  One cousin isn’t as bad as two.  It also helped with seating arrangements and everything.  The two kids (my son and his younger cousin) sat on the loveseat together playing DS separately but together.  My son doesn’t play his very often anymore but I got him the new Pokemon game that came out a few months ago.  He used to be completely obsessed with Pokemon but it has eased over the years.  We ate and exchanged gifts.

I walked over near my son to see if he needed help with any of his gifts.  He had just opened an Axe gift set- body spray, shampoo, the whole set.  He just looked at me.  I looked at him with understanding eyes.  He whispered “no, but I still appreciate the gift” and shrugged.  I was so proud of his graciousness.  Just then my sister in law walked by and asked if he liked it.  He was openly asked so he then openly answered. “No, I don’t like it but thank you for the gift”.  Well she did ask.  My sister in law then went on and on about how she asked everyone about what to buy him and everyone said that.  Yes I am sure they did.  This is about the 15th (or 30th – birthdays & Christmas but when younger wasn’t as noticeable? anyways) that she has bought him what the NT kids his age would want & hasn’t understood why he hasn’t liked it.  She tries.  They don’t watch TV but maybe I should buy them a season of Big Bang theory on DVD and explain they should think “What would Sheldon want?”  At 15 he wouldn’t want Axe body spray either.  He did however love the Atari game system my husband got from them for Christmas.

Once the other cousin was done at the doctors the rest of the family came.  They ate and I gave them their gifts.  They left soon after that and we were pretty much without incident.  My mother in law made some inappropriate comments but since we had all agreed ahead of time to ignore her that is what we all did.  If no one reacts she isn’t encouraged and will stop right?  Maybe not but we are still going to ignore her.  Kind of sad I need to tell my son she is overdramatic and to ignore his own grandmother.  Of course when I told him he said he already knew and understood not to tell her.  Wonder what he would do if she came out and asked him?  Hmmm maybe I should prep him for that one.

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Comments

  1. So much awesome here… “No, but I appreciate the gift” – good for Sheldon. 🙂

  2. There’s definitely some good material here! I’m a former special education teacher, and I loved the vocalization of your inner dialogue about the food texture as well as your son’s empathetic reaction. I also liked your mention of the NT failures to understand your & your son’s concerns because it speaks to their deficits, which is an indicator that (1) nobody’s perfect, (2) NTs need to understand your perspective just like AS people must work to vocalize theirs, and (3) when NTs discriminate, Aspies don’t have to “engage them on their own low ground” — planned ignoring can be effective.

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