I know that my family means well and I enjoy when they visit but sometimes it causes stress.

My child lives by routines and he gets upset when they get disrupted.  Sometimes I don’t even anticipate what changes in routine will cause him stress.  Please try to go with the flow regarding what routines he needs to follow or when he gets upset if his routine is upset.  He isn’t spoiled or demanding, he just needs it a certain way.

I may need to ask you to leave before you had planned to leave.  This is because I have sensed that he needs to return to his usual routine and/or surroundings.  He also has sensory issues and too much sensory input can potentially upset him.  This also means that although you think it is a good thing to ask lots of questions about his game, it isn’t.

You may think that you are showing interest but he may be so focused on his activity that your interest will just be viewed as interrupting.  When he wants to share something with you, he will.  And when it is something he wants to  share he will be very excited and his excitement will be contagious.

I am sorry if I seem distracted.  It isn’t that I don’t like your visits but I have a million things going through my mind.  I may be trying to gauge how overstimulated he is.  I would like to try to avoid a meltdown if at all possible.  If he asks you to stop something, please stop.  If he raises his voice please don’t be offended.  He isn’t intending to be rude it just means that his stress level is increasing and the only way he knows how to express this is by yelling.

In the past (and it can easily happen again) he expressed this stress level by slamming doors, throwing things or throwing himself on the floor and banging his head on the ground.  If he ever does anything like this where he seems out of control please just let me handle it.  I have been handling it for years.  Just leave the room unless I ask you to do something.  Once the meltdown is over or if it is evident that he is getting agitated it may be best for you to leave.  It is nothing personal but I won’t be able to visit because I will be distracted anyways.

And last but not least… Yes I am aware that my house is not clean.  We do our best but some weeks are very busy and housework is on the bottom of the list.  Please don’t comment about the dishes unless you plan to help.  Don’t ask why the ladder is in the dining room.  Does it really matter?  Yes we took the tree down last week and we are lucky that it was even taken down and ornaments put away.  We needed the ladder to reach the top, it just didn’t get put away yet.     I try, I really do but this week has been really hectic with switching schools and trying to get ready, and all of the other chaotic things that happen in our lives.  Again any help would be appreciated.



  1. I so relate. We visited my parents over the summer holidays and for the 10 days we were there meal times were a nightmare. Mum has a glass table, she insisted on putting out her good Wedgewood dinnerplates and crystal glasses for my children as well. By the end of the first week my 6yo with autism was crying asking for real dinners because the noise of china on glass was too much for her 😦

  2. It is uncanny – I could have written this entire post myself. I also have a 14 year old Aspie, who also has ADHD and severe sensory issues.

    Loving the blog!

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