Will work for Brownies

The other night I woke up at 4:30 AM and just sensed that he was still awake. Oh yes he was still awake. When I went in to talk to him he refused to take his pills and was upset in general.

Earlier that night he had become upset during a Geometry quiz. He had forgotten a formula and this really upset him. His teacher had said he could have formulas during tests but he always says no. I immediately offered the formula but he was already upset.

He closed his laptop and clenched his fists. He then started yelling that he was just going to quit. Was using his almost in tears voice and said he didn’t care. I think I reminded him of the game he wants. We are all about bribes reward system here. My heart was beating so fast. He started demanding random things like a glads of water and picked up the laptop. I also handed him the formulas and offered to help. He yelled at me to leave.

He finished the quiz with a 100% score! Sigh we made it through but we were both shaken. I left him alone the rest of the night and hoped the next day would be better.

So at 4 AM I was not surprised to have an unhappy kid. But at 4 AM I am not sure I am at my best to cope with this. Although I really should be by now! I offered food because this is usually what he wants. When he is hungry he gets crabby but doesn’t always realize that is what he wants. He didn’t want anything I offered. When I offered brownies, he said he wanted “old school brownies”.

This request is what a teacher or psychologist would call “odd”. I have always hated that comment. It isn’t odd if you know where he is coming from. We currently buy packaged brownies but we used to make them. So I immediately knew what he meant. I Asked if he wanted to make brownies out of a box. “yes!” he sounded so excited. I explained we would buy some and make them. He was very pleased. He ate cereal, took his pills and went to sleep.

That evening he was resistant to do school work. I immediately told him no Geometry even though we really needed to get caught up in Geometry. He is such a perfectionist in math that it stresses him. I had told him he needed to do some every day but at this point I just wanted him to do schoolwork.

We worked for a while without incident. He did well on his work and I was trying to think of a way to bring up Geometry. I knew it was a risk. I didn’t want a meltdown but it needed done. I face that issue with him quite often. He needs space but I can’t let something go. Sigh

After history he asked if we could make brownies. I told him to take his history quiz and he needed to come down with me. He agreed. He then asked me for clothing. I told him I already put out underwear for him. He informed me he needed shorts and a shirt too “you know in case of burns”. Of course good plan! He takes kitchen safety very seriously!

He got dressed and joined me in the kitchen. We started working together to make the brownies. He is a 14 year old aspie, i don’t get to just hang out with him very often. I understand he prefers to be alone. I was on cloud nine to have him helping me bake brownies.

My husband asked if he could have some of the “special brownies”. I knew he meant special because Sheldon helped. This made Sheldon laugh and tell him that these were not “special brownies”

It was so wonderful but in my mind I was perseverating about the Geometry that he needed to do. I just can’t help it. I usually ruin great moments because of this.

Deep breath “what do I have to bribe you with to get you to do geometry?”

What is he gonna ask for?

Will he yell?

What was I thinking?

His response: “this is enough.”

What? This wonderful blissful time baking brownies is enough? I love this kid. It is a good thing he turned to play with his cat. I was crying in the brownie mix and he probably wouldn’t have eaten them.

He loved the brownies and he took his test. Quite honestly I didn’t even care whether or not he took the test at that point. It was such a wonderful evening all around! I think I will be making brownies more often!


  1. This is such a great post! I have a tendency to stress-bake… Maybe he’s just signaling to you that he needs to have some breaks with you that don’t include schoolwork. (I’m completely guessing here.)

    • I wish he would do other stuff with me! I sure do try. Sometimes he will do stuff with us and we really treasure that. He mostly wants to play video games or watch YouTube. This became worse with adolescence. But we keep trying. It actually has been a bit better since not going to brick and mortar school- that was waaaay too draining.
      Maybe he is having internal struggle- wants to do stuff but thinks he is supposed to not do stuff. I will definitely keep trying.

  2. Very touching post. This got to me:

    “It was so wonderful but in my mind I was perseverating about the Geometry that he needed to do. I just can’t help it. I usually ruin great moments because of this”

    I am very much like this, I fight it all the time. I can imagine a similar situation unfolding in our own lives.

    It is a relief to read about your experience. I feel less alone. 🙂

  3. stephstwogirls says:

    Lovely. Glad the brownie making went well. Sometimes you just have to run with the ‘odd’ but perfectly acceptable requests to make life work 🙂


  1. […] in my head.  Will post more in the next couple of days but thought you might enjoy yet another Brownie story   Or reading about my horrible sensory […]

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